Schlemiel; Schlimazel. Schmendricks Bagels, Incorporated

First, a few definitions:

Bagel (n) - 1. a dense, round bread roll that is boiled before being baked.  Traditional in Jewish cuisine.
"I ate a delicious bagel with schmear at brunch with my bubbie after Passover."
2. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
"Those ferkakta Dodgers posted a bagel last night.  Lost 0-2 to the Giants."

Bagel (v) - to discover the religious beliefs of another through indirect means.  To find out if someone is Jewish without asking outright.
"Does that boychik know he's trying to bagel a shiksa? What a putz."

Tonight, I ate bagels and bageled with Schmendricks - whose bagels are anything but bagels (and to be perfectly honest, whose founders are anything but Schmendricks).

Dan, Deepa, Dagny and David didn't dive directly into the doughy domain after Dartmouth.  After heading out to the west coast, the D4 took respective positions in the "real world" - David as a school psychologist, Dan as a partner at Trinity Ventures, Dagny in the education sector, and Deep as a corporate lawyer.  Somehow, all of them manage to keep their current jobs while providing the city of San Francisco with the first fantastic bagel this side of New York City, all with undying chutzpah.

That is, except for Deepa, who quit her job to invest herself fully in Schmendricks: and that takes some serious bagels (alternate definition? Check.)

The Schmendricks

Deepa, Dan, Dagny and David

Despite selling bagels for the past three months or so, they decided to throw a "Launch Party" at Four Barrel on Thursday night.  It was like break-fast after Yom Kippur.  Only with more alcohol.  Bagel-d'oeuvres topped with whitefish and onions, veggie-pâté and carrots, cream cheese and smoked salmon, and roast beef and a pickle were plentiful and an excellent nosh to start off the evening. 

Bagel-d'oeuvres

There were also not one, not two, but THREE open bars.  The first two were traditional - an alcohol bar with mimosas, bloodies and beers.  The second was a coffee bar, expertly barista-ed by Four Barrel.  But without a doubt, the star of the show was the bagel bar.  That's right - BAGEL BAR. 

Schmendricks Bagels, Multiple Schmears, Capers, Onions. Heaven. 

Those of us east-coasters have a standard to which all bagels must be held - the New York City bagel.  Many have tried to imitate: 99.9% have failed.  Some credit the water, others credit the air, but nearly everyone would argue that it is impossible to find a decent bagel outside the Big Apple.  (No, New Jersey doesn't count - no one cares about New Jersey).  

Until now.

Like any good Jew, Schmendricks vehemently refuses to accept what has been laid down as "fact."  Working tirelessly for two years, the D4 perfected the recipe.  Pre-orders for their pop-ups sell out in under an hour, and the lines for their individual sales on Sundays wrap around city blocks.  

And it isn't just about the taste (which is stellar), but they also nailed the texture - a dense, chewy interior with a just-right, slightly crisp exterior with a beautiful sheen.  People - this is the real deal. 

Interior of a Schmendrick's bagel - light schmear. 

Here's where things get really cool.  Apparently, you don't need to be Jewish to appreciate a good fantastic bagel (who knew?).  Schmendricks is bringing people together full-circle (or full-bagel, if you will).  I met some incredible people with fascinating backgrounds: Stephanie - a consultant for witnesses.  Hannah - PR worker and music blogger (www.indieshuffle.com).  Andrew - tech blog writer.  Rebecca - capitalist and event planner.  Some Jewish, most not.  Some west-coast natives, most not.  Some meshuga, most not.  But we were all head over heels for these bagels, and at the very least, had that in common.  

Friends, Family, Customers - The Whole Mishpucha 

Expect big things to happen very quickly.  Already providing their bagels via catering to companies around the bay, you will no doubt find them in stores sooner than you think.  Success could not come to a kinder group of people.  

Sorry New York, but your one draw back to the east coast has just been taken away.  Though I guess you still have pizza...

So here I am, 12am at home all hyped up on Four Barrel espresso (and french press...), full, happy, schmutz still on my clothes, and not nearly bageled out.  

In any sense of the word.

Nosh on,

JL